The Iterated Chef: Breakfast

 

Chef BoyarDel Omlettes


The only thing unusual about my omlettes is the spices I use. Future liberal culinary historians may see the combination of garlic salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and curry powder as indicative of a time when
America was optomistic about the world, attempting to integrate elements of so many cultures to create the perfect food. Future conservative culinary historians mat see the ingredients as indicative of America’s overexpansion but good luck, since all the pieces seem to work, even if I didn’t use spices our homesteaders would have used (freedom fries and tabasco, I believe). Future marxist culinary historians will see the spices as indicative of America’s imperialism, as I subjected the diverse tastes to my gourmandizing gullet. Of course, they will all be wrong. Truth be told, when I started making breakfasts in college I had 5 spices in my rack: garlic salt, pepper, cayenne, curry and oregano, and put them in everything I made. Oregano was gross with eggs in this mix.


My new favorite filling for omlettes is:
¼ lb smoked salmon
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp olive oil
½ lb spinach
1 clove garlic
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp butter

sautee salmon in garlic and olive oil in one skillet, wilt spinach and garlic in oil and butter in a second.
When the salmon is warm and the spinach is wilted combine the two over medium heat for about 30 seconds.
Put in the guts of omlettes.

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DelGoo

This is a great passive-aggressive recipe. If you are a person who likes lazing about in bed but you have a spritely partner, surprise them with this for Sunday brunch. It’s heavy, fatty, gooey, and tasty as hell. You’ll knock that puritan ethic out of them, and be waking at 3.pm wondering where the day went. Trust me, that look of shock and disappointment on your partner’s face is the best spice of all.

1 large potato chopped in thin, small squares
1 onion
1/2 stick butter
2 tbsp olive oil

1 green pepper, chopped
1/2 lb mushrooms, chopped
1 tomato, gutted w/goo tossed, chopped

1/2 cup shredded cheddar
Salt, pepper, cayenne

Sautee potato and onion in half the butter and oil until soft (4-5 minutes)
Add pepper, sautee 1 mn
Add mushrooms, tomato, the rest of the butter and oil, and spices, sautee 1 mn
Melt cheese on top.
Phone cardiologist.

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Crepes

The best part about this recipe is if the crepes come out too thick you can call them pancakes.

2/3 c flour
3/4 c milk
1 egg
1/4 c sugar
1 tsp cinnamon

Blend the ingredients.
Chill, homes. Take 15.

Melt butter in a crepe pan (who am I kidding – a skillet, pot, or whatever’s left that’s clean. Note: woks don’t work so well.) over medium heat.
Pour a thin layer of crepe mix into pan. When the edges get a little bubbly, flip the crepe.

I’m a fan of filling the guts of the crepe with berries and whipped cream, but I’ve had success with ham and cheese, and also chocolate melted with butter and a little cream.

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Quinoa porridge

This one's from Catherine, one of the grads in the program who has outstripped me in every respect. Damn you Catherine for your competence! but Thank you for the recipe! On the serving size she notes: This serves one hungry breakfaster. Multiply ingredients by number of people eating. Or divide by half for one not very hungry breakfaster.

1/2 cup quinoa
1 cup water
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
1 banana
walnut pieces
soymilk or milk

Combine the first four ingredients in a pot. Bring to boil and then simmer
for 10 minutes. But the real way to cook this is to have a crock pot and
a timer that you can plug the crock pot into. Put all the ingredients
into the pot the previous night, set the crock pot on medium, and set the
timer to start two hours before you expect to get up. Make sure you set
the timer to go off after those two hours in case that hangover causes you
to oversleep.

Then you serve it with sliced banana, walnut pieces, and milk or soymilk
poured over it. Delicious and healthy.

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